I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
