This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
