Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
