TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
