I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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