I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
