You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
