Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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