Buhtt sex?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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