Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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