U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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