Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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