you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
