i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
