Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
