Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
