bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
