I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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