what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
