So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
