Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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