it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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