I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
