He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
