There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize