i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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