What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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