I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
