youre lurking in front of me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Welp...herpes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
