So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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