need another drink. this is the easiest way
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
