I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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