Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
