If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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