The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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