Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
