I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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