alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
