If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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