tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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