there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
