AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
