I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
they're like a gay fantastic four
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
