we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
