So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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