Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
