I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
