So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
