That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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