I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
