Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
