Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
