I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Who died my cat blue again?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
