Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
