If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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