It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And then my night got REAL pukey
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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