I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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