I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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