I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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